Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can't motorboat a personality
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
