What did we do last night that was yellow?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
