Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
