you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
