You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
