i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
