The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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