Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
