If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
