we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
