Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
