i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
