Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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