THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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