stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
