I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
