um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
