If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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