is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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