Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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