I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
