It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
