Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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