ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
