Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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