can we get nightvision for the apartment?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
