So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
