I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
