I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
