those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
