I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
