sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
