I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
