Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
