i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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