so explain again why im purple
no
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
