clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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