My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
