I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
