"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
