Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
