no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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