You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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