I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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