3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
