hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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