My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
