I am spending my child support on dildos
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't turn off my feet"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
