She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
