so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
